Raised by an alcoholic???

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Raised by an alcoholic???

Post by Noone is forgotten on Mon Mar 31, 2014 1:01 pm

I was at my therapy appointment today for my PTSD, and he had suggested that I am having "past issues in healing from my childhood". "Because my mother was an abusive alcoholic, I may carry some of those same tendencies".

I realize I had a very traumatic upbringing, and make it a point in my current life not to "continue the cycle". I rarely drink, when I do, it's extremely little. Maybe my birthday, holidays. I also am against drugs, pills, etc. (Which he, this morning recommended a prescription again this session, and again I refused.) There has to be a better way to cope than to dope, IMO anyways

He has asked me to do some research and compare myself to others. I am resistant, because I am not others. I am not my mom, or any other person to be compared to. I am myself. I've released my inner child from all the hurt and pain that I went through when growing up. I, IMO, moved on. I've made peace with my mom, and we are working on our relationship. I choose not to repeat her past, and to be the example.

Yes, I have PTSD. My house was broken into when I was home alone, and held at gun point twice after the fact, all within an 8 month period of time. How are these incidents comparable at the least?

What does one have anything to with the other? Is it always practice to blame the parent for one's problems? My mom didn't break in my house and shoot at me, nor did she hold me at gun point twice after the fact. She isn't the reason I can't sleep at night, or choose not to be around others

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Re: Raised by an alcoholic???

Post by Guest on Wed Apr 02, 2014 5:35 pm

Hi NOIF,

I think it's common for talk therapy to focus on long-term precipitating issues as the "cause" of our current state regardless of how much that really impacts matters in the here and now. Like you, I do not look to my childhood issues as being relevant to current conditions and a need for current, practical advice. This does not mean that those early circumstances do not play a part in how we view ourselves and the world around us, but very few adults are completely "stuck" in their childhood traumas so it seems counter-productive to focuing on matters that are more relevant to today's situation.

As you probably know, PTSD is a condition that is triggered by both past and current events and the barrier to treatement is that this condition is simply not understood by more cognitive-behavioral therapists. I also have PTSD and have found the most help and guidance from those with a strong background in helping clients with this condition. For us, it's not simply a matter of "let it go" or "be happy" because the crux of the issue is that we typically don't get restorative sleep, have chronic nightmares and are triggered by situations that would be of "no consequence" to other people without PTSD. It's a very complex and difficult condition to understand and even harder to live with.

For me, I learned of EMDR many years ago. It stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing and works through the subconscious layer of how the brain processes and desensitizes information. Although I am not 100% cured, I am doing much, much better now than I was prior to undergoing this kind of therapy. I would not hesitate to seek out an EMDR therapist now either. Now, if I can only get myself desensitized to spiders!  Shocked 

All the best to you,
MJ

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